Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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