I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
