awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
