Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
