just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
