Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Randomize
