my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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