Heybabeimwearingurpanties
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
