life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
