GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
