next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
