K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Randomize
