That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
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