I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
that's an acceptable place to lick
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
