marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize