You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize