He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
