I bet he comes in French.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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