I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
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