You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
