Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
