Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
