I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Randomize
