mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
We talked him into tasing himself.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
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