Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
