Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
