Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Randomize
