So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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