I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
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