PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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