I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
