Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
