WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
