Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Can you bring me the toilet please
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Randomize
