And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
