Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
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