We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Randomize
