the condom got lost in my hair
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize