it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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