Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
actually, I'm a sock model
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Randomize
