Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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