It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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