so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
There are leaves in my underwear?
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