watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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