The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
