She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Randomize
