you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Randomize
