I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
