Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize