I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
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