Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
