You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
