Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I want to have your abortion
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Randomize
