They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
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