I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Randomize
