How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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