Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
