My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Randomize
