I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Randomize
