There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Randomize
