somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Randomize
