I'm lost and stupid without you.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
