I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
