he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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