Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Randomize