I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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