Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Randomize
