Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize