I want to walk on stilts...naked
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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