Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
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