My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Randomize
