hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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