Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
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