I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Blood and glitter go together right?
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
