physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
