According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
